Hall Nazis

The teachers at my school share the duties associated with keeping a school running safely and orderly.  We are split into 6 teams and every 6 weeks we have a duty to do either in the morning or afternoon.  My job is always morning cafeteria duty.  I asked for cafeteria duty so that if any of my students need help, I can help them in the cafeteria at the tables.  I dread duty week.  I feel I am always behind when I do my duty.  My mornings just don't start off as smoothly.  

I've always thought all teachers dreaded morning duty, but I have come to realize there are some who love bossing kids around so much that they feel they must be on "duty" even when it is not their week.  At our school we have a set time for morning tutorials.  The bell for morning tutorials rings at 7:30 and heaven help you if you arrive at 7:31 and try to get upstairs to your math classroom.  These hall nazis are so gung ho about keeping the halls free of students that they spend their mornings outside their classroom doors making sure no one gets by them. 

 My next door colleague has morning duty this week in the hall where the kids enter the building from the parking lot and then either go upstairs to tutorials or to the cafeteria.  If a student needs to go to tutorials and it is just a few minutes past the tardy bell, he'll ask them where they are going and then tell them to hurry up and get up there before any of the hall Nazis catch them.  Unfortunately, he was caught in the act this morning and he received a severe tongue lashing for not following the rules and procedures that make our school run like a well oiled machine.  He wasn't about to put up with that kind of treatment so he pointed to the chair he had been sitting in and said "there's a chair for you".  Hall Nazi was confused and said, "Why do I need a chair" and he said, if you really want to do my duty for me, then I have lots of work in my room that needs to be done and I'm going to leave this hallway for you to take care of".  He then left her standing there flabbergasted as he walked up the stairs to his classroom.  

We have another Hall Nazi at the other end of the building.  She too, cannot seem to stay in her room in the mornings and work.  You can hear her screaming at students clear across the building about breaking some sort of hall rule.  Even on my wing of the building there is a Nazi who feels a strong need to spend all her spare time looking for rule-breakers.  Just last week, I heard a bunch of yelling near my room so I went out to see what was happening.  Two girls had come upstairs to put some books in their lockers.  Instead of nicely reminding the girls that they weren't supposed to be in the hall between 7:30 and 7:55, she was screaming so loudly at them to "Get out of the hall" and "Don't you girls know any better than to not be in the halls after 7:30?" that I could hear her all the way in my classroom.  How would you like to start out your day being screamed at?  Even better, how would you like to start out your day screaming at others?  I'm sorry, I just can't live like that.  Unless someone is being physically harmed or threatened, I can't think of a single reason to scream at anyone.  

So here's my idea.  Let's take the 6 Hall Nazis and just make them  the happiest people in the world.  We'll give them duty every single day of the school year.  We'll all be happy.  The other teachers will no longer have morning duty, and the 6 Hall Nazis can get their jollies by keeping all the kiddos in line and out of those hallways.